By Laura Walton (I used to dream)
I am walking to my locker in an early morning daze when I see a blur of blue letterman’s jacket cross my vision and hear the words “Lookin’ hot today Blondie!”
Startled I turn to look behind me and see that sure enough, it is Grant Adams looking my way with a broad grin on his face. I smile back and give a little wave as I continue my journey down the hall.
What can this mean? How is it that I – a 15-year-old freshman of average height and popularity level – have captured the attention of the most attractive senior to walk the earth? I used to dream of the moment he would notice me. He would be walking down the school hall on a day just like today and our eyes would meet and he would think “She’s the one. That’s the girl I’m taking to the Homecoming Dance this year.”
Maybe it was more than a dream. Maybe it was a vision and I’ve been seeing the future. This is great! I must be gifted with a sixth sense or special sight or whatever they call it. And the timing for the gift to kick in couldn’t be better. I have a Spanish test this morning.
I close my eyes and try to visualize the questions on the test. Unfortunately, I see nothing before me, but I do run smack dab into Gina Coulter. Not a good move. She clearly cannot tell from looking at me that I have a special gift.
“What the ?” Coulter sputters. “Watch it Laci! Seriously you need to …”
Gina is still talking but I have moved on and am not listening to her tirade. I have a wedding to plan after all. I am picturing me and Grant walking down the aisle. He is wearing a tuxedo shirt and his letterman’s jacket. I have on the most beautiful Vera Wang strapless gown. I haven’t actually researched what Vera Wang strapless gowns look like, but I’m sure this one has to be close to reality.
I have reached the door to my Spanish classroom and see Mr. Johnson standing there. I smile broadly as I greet him with a cheery “Good morning!” Mr. Johnson mumbles his reply a bit, perhaps caught off guard by a student actually speaking to him in the morning. It’s okay. I can afford to be generous with my greetings today. I am in the mood to share the love. After all, I am going to ace this Spanish test thanks to my special gift and I am going to marry Grant somewhere down the road after the Homecoming Dance. My life is a dream.
“Laci! Good lord girl get over here!”
Someone is speaking my name with a bit of urgency. I shake myself out of my reverie realizing I have been standing at the door of the classroom by Mr. Johnson perhaps a tad longer than would normally be socially acceptable. I am unconcerned as I make my way over to my best friend Lori who is looking at me with an odd expression of embarrassment.
I feel immediate concern for her. Clearly something catastrophic has occurred and she needs my support. I wonder if she dropped her mascara wand in the toilet again. Or maybe Drew sent her another desperate text message declaring his undying love for her.
Whatever the situation, we will handle it together. Life can be tough for a high school freshman. But thanks to my new-found gift of special sight I will be able to predict whatever she needs to help her through this unfortunate chapter. I am glad to help, though I feel a wave of pity for Lori because she does not have the same gifts I have. After all, this morning I woke up thinking I was an ordinary girl. Now I have the ability to read the future and the hottest guy in school wants to date me. Life is good.
“Laci! You need to come with me to the back of the room – now!”
Oh this must be something big if we can’t talk about it at our desks. As we head toward the area by the trash can I ponder it all. What could it be? Did she get tickets to the big concert Friday night? Maybe she has a new zit in an awkward place. The suspense is really just too much.
“There in the back – you’ve got to get it out!” Lori says to me.
I turn awkwardly trying to see what is behind me when I realize I have a tail. It is a tail of the worst kind – toilet paper. All the while I was waltzing down the hall in my daze assured of Grant’s love for me, I was living a lie. He was not planning his move to ask me to the Homecoming Dance after all. He was just laughing at me. Probably most of my classmates were laughing behind my back as well.
This is truly tragic. I have just realized I have no date for the dance, no wedding plans in my future and apparently I do not have a special gift for seeing the future after all. Sadly I remove the offending toilet paper, which has apparently been with me since my stop in the first floor bathroom.
I quietly thank Lori for her help and make my way to my desk in a state of mortification. My life is over. Socially I will never recover. The world will always remember me as the girl with the toilet paper tail. If I were to die tragically today, my classmates would TP the tree above my grave to remember their last glimpse of me. How will I go on?
“You got some notebook paper I can borrow Laci?”
I look up startled awakening from the vision of my toilet papered grave. It is Curt Smith speaking to me. I am surprised he is able to move beyond my total social humiliation to be seen talking to me, but then again he is a boy in need. I open my notebook and grab a handful of paper to pass his way looking up just as I hand it off.
“Thanks Laci,” he is saying. “You saved me.”
As I pause to appreciate the irony that I have risen from my own social death to save someone else, I notice that Curt’s eyes are really blue. I mean we are talking Cancun ocean blue. It gets me to thinking of beaches and summertime and that amazing coconut smell from certain brands of sunscreen.
I am starting to realize maybe I was never meant to be with Grant after all. I mean he’s a senior and I’m a freshman and he’s going to be moving on to college next year anyway. What I need might just be someone who gets me, someone who knows my history. After all Curt and I have been friends since the third grade when he made fart noises with his arm pits during lunch hour and I laughed so hard I snorted milk out my nose.
Yes, Curt is definitely the one for me. We are going to have beautiful children together. They will have my hair and his eyes. Of course, the arm pit fart thing can’t be happening anymore, but hopefully he has outgrown that.
“Laci, are you joining us today?”
Oh, it’s Mr. Johnson again. I forgot all about him. I guess I’d better take my Spanish test now. In fact, I think I should really concentrate and do well in this class. After all, if Curt and I are going to live in Cancun after we get married, it would be helpful to know how to speak the language. Adios Amigos – I have work to do!
I am walking to my locker in an early morning daze when I see a blur of blue letterman’s jacket cross my vision and hear the words “Lookin’ hot today Blondie!”
Startled I turn to look behind me and see that sure enough, it is Grant Adams looking my way with a broad grin on his face. I smile back and give a little wave as I continue my journey down the hall.
What can this mean? How is it that I – a 15-year-old freshman of average height and popularity level – have captured the attention of the most attractive senior to walk the earth? I used to dream of the moment he would notice me. He would be walking down the school hall on a day just like today and our eyes would meet and he would think “She’s the one. That’s the girl I’m taking to the Homecoming Dance this year.”
Maybe it was more than a dream. Maybe it was a vision and I’ve been seeing the future. This is great! I must be gifted with a sixth sense or special sight or whatever they call it. And the timing for the gift to kick in couldn’t be better. I have a Spanish test this morning.
I close my eyes and try to visualize the questions on the test. Unfortunately, I see nothing before me, but I do run smack dab into Gina Coulter. Not a good move. She clearly cannot tell from looking at me that I have a special gift.
“What the ?” Coulter sputters. “Watch it Laci! Seriously you need to …”
Gina is still talking but I have moved on and am not listening to her tirade. I have a wedding to plan after all. I am picturing me and Grant walking down the aisle. He is wearing a tuxedo shirt and his letterman’s jacket. I have on the most beautiful Vera Wang strapless gown. I haven’t actually researched what Vera Wang strapless gowns look like, but I’m sure this one has to be close to reality.
I have reached the door to my Spanish classroom and see Mr. Johnson standing there. I smile broadly as I greet him with a cheery “Good morning!” Mr. Johnson mumbles his reply a bit, perhaps caught off guard by a student actually speaking to him in the morning. It’s okay. I can afford to be generous with my greetings today. I am in the mood to share the love. After all, I am going to ace this Spanish test thanks to my special gift and I am going to marry Grant somewhere down the road after the Homecoming Dance. My life is a dream.
“Laci! Good lord girl get over here!”
Someone is speaking my name with a bit of urgency. I shake myself out of my reverie realizing I have been standing at the door of the classroom by Mr. Johnson perhaps a tad longer than would normally be socially acceptable. I am unconcerned as I make my way over to my best friend Lori who is looking at me with an odd expression of embarrassment.
I feel immediate concern for her. Clearly something catastrophic has occurred and she needs my support. I wonder if she dropped her mascara wand in the toilet again. Or maybe Drew sent her another desperate text message declaring his undying love for her.
Whatever the situation, we will handle it together. Life can be tough for a high school freshman. But thanks to my new-found gift of special sight I will be able to predict whatever she needs to help her through this unfortunate chapter. I am glad to help, though I feel a wave of pity for Lori because she does not have the same gifts I have. After all, this morning I woke up thinking I was an ordinary girl. Now I have the ability to read the future and the hottest guy in school wants to date me. Life is good.
“Laci! You need to come with me to the back of the room – now!”
Oh this must be something big if we can’t talk about it at our desks. As we head toward the area by the trash can I ponder it all. What could it be? Did she get tickets to the big concert Friday night? Maybe she has a new zit in an awkward place. The suspense is really just too much.
“There in the back – you’ve got to get it out!” Lori says to me.
I turn awkwardly trying to see what is behind me when I realize I have a tail. It is a tail of the worst kind – toilet paper. All the while I was waltzing down the hall in my daze assured of Grant’s love for me, I was living a lie. He was not planning his move to ask me to the Homecoming Dance after all. He was just laughing at me. Probably most of my classmates were laughing behind my back as well.
This is truly tragic. I have just realized I have no date for the dance, no wedding plans in my future and apparently I do not have a special gift for seeing the future after all. Sadly I remove the offending toilet paper, which has apparently been with me since my stop in the first floor bathroom.
I quietly thank Lori for her help and make my way to my desk in a state of mortification. My life is over. Socially I will never recover. The world will always remember me as the girl with the toilet paper tail. If I were to die tragically today, my classmates would TP the tree above my grave to remember their last glimpse of me. How will I go on?
“You got some notebook paper I can borrow Laci?”
I look up startled awakening from the vision of my toilet papered grave. It is Curt Smith speaking to me. I am surprised he is able to move beyond my total social humiliation to be seen talking to me, but then again he is a boy in need. I open my notebook and grab a handful of paper to pass his way looking up just as I hand it off.
“Thanks Laci,” he is saying. “You saved me.”
As I pause to appreciate the irony that I have risen from my own social death to save someone else, I notice that Curt’s eyes are really blue. I mean we are talking Cancun ocean blue. It gets me to thinking of beaches and summertime and that amazing coconut smell from certain brands of sunscreen.
I am starting to realize maybe I was never meant to be with Grant after all. I mean he’s a senior and I’m a freshman and he’s going to be moving on to college next year anyway. What I need might just be someone who gets me, someone who knows my history. After all Curt and I have been friends since the third grade when he made fart noises with his arm pits during lunch hour and I laughed so hard I snorted milk out my nose.
Yes, Curt is definitely the one for me. We are going to have beautiful children together. They will have my hair and his eyes. Of course, the arm pit fart thing can’t be happening anymore, but hopefully he has outgrown that.
“Laci, are you joining us today?”
Oh, it’s Mr. Johnson again. I forgot all about him. I guess I’d better take my Spanish test now. In fact, I think I should really concentrate and do well in this class. After all, if Curt and I are going to live in Cancun after we get married, it would be helpful to know how to speak the language. Adios Amigos – I have work to do!